Unless you're part of the Dead Poet's Society, you probably shouldn't wear a sweater, a tweed jacket or a turtleneck. Good god, not a turtleneck!   This is not a fashion opinion so much as a public service announcement. A civic duty. A literary safety notice posted on the corkboard of your local independent bookstore, right between the flyer for a banned books read-in and the handwritten sign that says "Please stop reshelving books incorrectly. We see you."   Somewhere along

To begin, this is not shallow. This is literary anthropology. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who carry tote bags and those who live dangerously.   The tote bag is more than a bag. It is a declaration of identity, a walking thesis statement with reinforced stitching. And yes, I absolutely judge people by theirs.   You do too. Don’t lie.   The thing about tote bags is that they always reveal something — about your politics, your emotional state, your relation

Elf on the Shelf There are many Christmas traditions I understand. Decorating a tree? Lovely. Baking cookies? Delicious. Buying gifts for people you like? Cheerful. Buying gifts for people you  barely  like? Well, that’s capitalism. But there is one holiday ritual I simply cannot wrap my book-loving, coffee-fueled brain around: Elf on the Shelf. For the blissfully unindoctrinated, Elf on the Shelf is a small, felt-covered doll that parents hide in different spots around the h

Mattel has given us Astronaut Barbie, President Barbie, and even Orthopedic Surgeon Barbie. Lovely. But where, I ask, is Reality Barbie—the one who smells faintly of dry shampoo, owns three reusable grocery bags she always forgets in the car, and has a suspicious spot on her ceiling she swears isn't mold? Let's fix that. 1. Golden Years Barbie Known to friends as Retirement-Community Rita, she's traded stilettos for sensible Skechers and tinted her hair Silver Fox Frost. She